Standing Out: Listening and Dialogue
It doesn’t take long in life to experience the pain of not being heard, being misunderstood or even ignored. It will happen in our families, school, work and generally in life.
What about the church? Yes in the church we can also struggle to listen and have real dialogue.
The church certainly doesn’t just listen, it has a message, and that message is a Person, his name is Jesus and that Person is revealed in a relationship with Him and through (incarnated) his people (the church). The message is discovered in dialogue.
God’s self-revelation of his Son Jesus is found in the context of listening and dialogue - in the relationships and conversations that include communicating the gospel.
What happens when you don’t feel heard? It can hurt.
Sometimes if we’re not heard we end up shouting louder whether literally or in dysfunctional behaviour.
Sometimes we withdraw, go into ourselves and it affects our self-esteem. Relationships are damaged when we don’t feel heard.
Listening and dialogue are important qualities for the church community to express because they are integral to who God is and how we are created as human beings to thrive and live in the flow of God’s mission.
I want to look at four areas of church life that require good listening and dialogue if they are to be successful. If we forget to listen then these areas of life are a pale imitation of God’s purposes for them and ultimately we fail to portray the goodness of Christ.
These four areas are evangelism, discipleship, community and leadership.
Before I delve into these areas of Kingdom life I want to lay out the reason listening and dialogue is integral to their success.
We’re not talking about listening and dialogue as a shortcut, “hack” or clever technique to succeed in these areas.
Fundamentally we need good listening and dialogue because we see it in the person, nature and work of Christ.
Jesus Christ is God in the flesh, He reveals to us the Triune God of Father, Son and Spirit. We cannot know who God is except through the Word who became flesh.
In Jesus’ life a God of relationship is revealed. Jesus’ life only makes sense in the context of his relationship with his Father and the Spirit.
Within God there is listening and dialogue. Eternally there has been a conversation with God. A dance of love, mutual dependence and communication that requires listening and dialogue. Jokes are shared, laughter is fulsome, joy is abundant within the Trinity.
The Trinity is not the monologue of the Father with the Son and Spirit taking orders. The Trinity is not a hierarchy. The Son is not a creation of the Father, with his rightful place subordinate to the Father.
The Son is not made to be told what to do, neither are we. That means we’re not meant to dominate or overpower people, we’re made to listen and have our voice heard.
Our invitation is to participate in this joyful union, this laughter and relationship of sonship.
Highlighting listening and dialogue isn’t about following the latest psychological research or technique to get people to our church. It is all about expressing ourselves as ones made in God’s image as relational creatures.
Our value for listening and dialogue is rooted in the Kingdom of God, the eternal relationship within the Trinity.
Made to be heard
We are made with a need to be heard. So, who will listen to you?
This is not a personality thing as if introverts are good listeners and extroverts are good talkers.
Our relationship with God is a relationship of love. That means he values our voice and he loves to listen to us.
We don’t have a God who sees his children as being “seen but not heard.”
Below are 4 ways listening and dialogue changes our evangelism, discipleship, community and leadership.
